Candlebox’s 1994 classic “Far Behind” is frontman Kevin Martin’s tribute to Andrew Wood, the Malfunkshun and Mother Love Bone singer who died of a heroin overdose in 1990. It’s about Martin’s anger and guilt over not being there to help his friend.
Below is an interpretation of the lyrics in “Far Behind.”
- Song: Far Behind
- Artist: Candlebox
- Songwriter: Candlebox
- Released: 1994
- Album: Candlebox
- Genre: Alternative rock, Post-grunge
What Is “Far Behind” About?
Verse 1: Watching Him Crumble
Now maybe
I didn’t mean to treat you bad
But I did it anyway
Whether they had an argument or just naturally drifted apart, he feels guilty for whatever he did or didn’t do for him.
Judging by the rest of the song, treating him “bad” could mean he ignored his phone calls and/or got angry with him over his drug use.
And then maybe
Some would say your life was sad
But you lived it anyway
People might look at his friend’s short life as a tragedy, but he still got to live and experience good times before it ended.
He’s saying people shouldn’t judge his life just on the worst parts.
And so maybe
Your friends, they stand around, they watch you crumble
As you falter to the ground
His friends watched him get worse and worse without stepping in to stop it.
That’s probably because they were caught up in the same drug use themselves, which made it easier to ignore it or not even see how bad it was.
And then someday
Your friends, they stand beside as you were flyin’
Oh, you were flyin’ oh-so high
When he was high and everything looked fine on the surface, his friends were right there with him, enjoying it alongside him instead of noticing the growing issue.
Another reading of this part is that people were distracted by Andrew Wood’s success as a musician and couldn’t see the issues he was dealing with.
But then someday, people look at you
For what they call their own, they watch you suffer
Yeah, they hear you calling home
People thought he was fine, but once they actually looked closer, they saw how much trouble he was in.
The “suffering” could be what caused the drug use (anxiety, depression, etc.), the addiction itself, or both.
“Calling home” could mean he was reaching out and getting ignored, or it could mean he was getting closer to death.
And then someday, we could take our time
To brush the leaves aside so you can reach us
Hey, but you left me far behind
He assumed there’d be time to fix things and reconnect later. His friend died before that could happen, so now he’s left behind.
Chorus: All He Had Left Was Pain
Now maybe
I didn’t mean to treat you oh-so bad
But I did it anyway
Again, he feels guilty for not doing more for his friend when he had the chance to.
“Oh-so bad” seems to imply that he said or did something that he really regrets and never had a chance to make up for.
Now I’m saying, but maybe
Some would say you’re left with what you had
But you couldn’t share the pain, no, no, no
When someone dies, all they leave with is what was actually inside them.
For his friend, that was pain he never let anyone else in on, so he carried it alone right up until the end.
Post-Chorus: No One There for the Hard Part
Couldn’t share the pain, they watch you suffer
Friends showed up when things were good, but nobody was there to help him when he was at his worst.
This could also mean that they were physically there, but they did nothing to stop him from getting worse.
Verse 2: Too Late to Help
Now maybe
I could have made my own mistakes
But I live with what I’ve known
This seems to mean that he wasn’t caught up in the same drug use his friend was, which is part of why he wasn’t around as things got worse.
He has to live with knowing that his old friend was in trouble and he didn’t help him.
And then maybe
We might share in something great
Won’t you look at where we’ve grown
Won’t you look at where we’ve gone
He wonders what their friendship would have looked like if they’d stayed close, imagining a version of things where they worked past their issues together and saw each other succeed.
And then someday comes, tomorrow holds
A sense of what I fear for you in my mind
As you trip the final line
He kept telling himself he’d reach out tomorrow, but tomorrow kept getting pushed back until his friend overdosed and it was too late to do anything.
And that cold day when you lost control
Shame you left my life so soon, you shoulda told me
Hey, but you left me far behind
The day his friend died, he’s left wishing he’d known what was actually going on so he could have done something.
Instead, he’s left behind to live with a lot of what-could-have-beens.
“Far Behind” Song Meaning: Guilt Over the Death of a Friend
Kevin Martin wrote “Far Behind” after the death of friend and fellow musician Andrew Wood. It’s mostly about him wondering what he and others could have done differently to change that outcome.
He wasn’t there in the way he could have been, whether because something happened between them or because he just didn’t say what he thinks he should have to help him. He also aims some of that frustration at all of the other people who didn’t speak up once his drug addiction became an obvious problem.
All he has now is guilt and regret, and he’s left wondering what could have been.
Songs Like “Far Behind”
Here are some other songs with similar themes:
1. “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan
This classic ballad came from McLachlan reading about a musician’s fatal heroin overdose. It’s about the loneliness that can push someone toward that kind of escape.
Related: Songs About Addiction
2. “Say Hello 2 Heaven” by Temple of the Dog
Another song about Andrew Wood, this 1991 grunge tribute was written by Chris Cornell about the shock of losing Wood so suddenly.
3. “The Needle and the Damage Done” by Neil Young
Young’s 1972 song came out of watching several friends and fellow musicians dealing with heroin addiction, one of whom died from an overdose that same year.
More Lyric Stories
Check out more 1990s Song Meanings!
