Lola Young’s soul-pop track “Messy,” from her 2024 album This Wasn’t Meant for You Anyway, explores the complexities of self-perception and emotional conflict. The song’s meaning dives into themes of personal imperfection and the tension that arises in relationships, all while grappling with the weight of societal expectations. Through its raw lyrics and emotive delivery, it captures the vulnerability we all face when confronting our own flaws.
In this article, we’ll break down the lyrics of “Messy,” exploring its themes of self-doubt, vulnerability, and the struggle to reconcile one’s inner world with external pressures.
“Messy” Lyrics Meaning: A Line-by-Line Interpretation
Verse 1: The Chaos of Expectations
You know I’m impatient
So why would you leave me waiting outside the station
When it was like minus four degrees?
She starts with an expression of impatience, setting the tone for the verse.
The situation becomes exaggerated when she points out the harsh conditions she had to endure while waiting—“minus four degrees.”
This highlights her frustration and the emotional toll of being left in such a situation.
And I, I get what you’re sayin’
I just really don’t wanna hear it right now
Can you shut up for like once in your life?
She acknowledges the other person’s point of view but makes it clear that she’s not interested in hearing it at this moment.
The demand to “shut up for like once in your life” reveals a pent-up frustration with the other person’s constant commentary.
Listen to me
I took your nice words of advice about
How you think I’m gonna die lucky if I turned thirty-three
She now requests that the other person truly listens to her.
The reference to advice about dying “lucky” at thirty-three adds a sense of fatalism, suggesting that the other person’s words may be intended to push her toward a certain way of living, which she rejects.
Okay, so yeah, I smoke like a chimney
I’m not skinny and I pull a Britney
Every other week
In these lines, she embraces her flaws and behaviors—acknowledging that she smokes, isn’t skinny, and has a reckless side.
“Pull a Britney” could be a nod to the unpredictable and rebellious actions associated with pop star Britney Spears.
But cut me some slack, who do you want me to be?
The verse ends with a defiant question, asking who the other person wants her to be. It conveys her frustration with being criticized and the pressure to meet impossible standards.
This is a plea for acceptance of who she is, flaws and all.
Chorus: A Rebellion Against Labels
‘Cause I’m too messy, and then I’m too fucking clean
You told me, “Get a job”, then you ask where the hell I’ve been
In the first two lines, she highlights the contradiction in her partner’s expectations: one moment she’s too messy, the next she’s “too fucking clean.” She’s held to an impossible standard, where neither extreme is acceptable.
The following line shows the frustration with being judged for her actions, as her partner tells her to “get a job” but then questions her whereabouts, showing an inconsistency in their demands.
And I’m too perfect, till I open my big mouth
I want to be me, is that not allowed?
She feels that her imperfections are only tolerated up to a certain point, and as soon as she speaks her mind or reveals vulnerability, she’s criticized.
The question “I want to be me, is that not allowed?” echoes her plea for autonomy and self-expression, asking whether she can simply exist without judgment.
And I’m too clever, and then I’m too fucking dumb
You hate it when I cry unless it’s that time of the month
In these lines, she points out another contradiction—she’s either too clever or “too fucking dumb,” again making it clear that whatever she does will never meet her partner’s expectations.
The second line brings attention to the emotional double standard, with her partner seemingly only tolerating her tears during certain times, adding to her frustration.
And I’m too perfect, till I show you that I’m not
A thousand people I could be for you and you hate the fucking lot
She reveals that her perfection is an illusion, and when she finally shows her flaws, they are met with disdain.
The final line deepens the sense of hopelessness, as she feels there are a thousand versions of herself she could adopt to satisfy her partner, but none of them are good enough, leading to a sense of rejection and frustration.
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Post-Chorus: Repeated Rejection
You hate the fucking lot
You hate the fucking lot
You hate, you hate
The repetition of “You hate the fucking lot” emphasizes the constant rejection she feels from her partner, no matter what version of herself she presents. It highlights her sense of being misunderstood and unloved, as if her partner’s criticism is relentless and all-encompassing.
The final line intensifies this feeling, as she’s left grappling with the emotional weight of their rejection.
Verse 2: The Double Standards of Relationships
It’s taking you ages
You still don’t get the hint
The speaker is frustrated with her partner’s inability to understand what she’s trying to convey.
This builds on the emotional distance between them, highlighting her impatience.
I’m not asking for pages
But one text or two would be nice
She desires something simple—a text to show care—but even this feels like too much to ask.
The lack of effort from her partner adds to her frustration.
And, please, don’t pull those faces
When I’ve been out working my arse off all day
She’s tired of the judgmental attitude her partner exhibits, especially after she’s been working hard.
It amplifies the feeling of being unappreciated and misunderstood.
It’s just one bottle of wine or two
But, hey, you can’t even talk
The mention of wine is a small way for her to unwind, yet her partner’s silence highlights an imbalance in their communication.
She feels that her small needs are being dismissed.
You smoke weed just to help you sleep
Then why you out gettin’ stoned at four o’clock?
She confronts her partner about their own hypocrisy.
While she’s called out for her behavior, her partner seems to act freely without consequence, further fueling her frustration.
And then you come home to me
And don’t say hello
The coldness her partner shows when coming home stings, leaving her to feel neglected.
A simple greeting seems like a basic gesture of affection that’s missing.
‘Cause I got high again
And forgot to fold my clothes
She uses the example of forgetting to fold clothes to emphasize how her mistakes are magnified, while her partner’s behavior often goes unnoticed.
The small imperfections she has seem to weigh more heavily in their relationship than the deeper issues with her partner’s actions.oes unnoticed.
“Messy” Song Meaning: Self-Acceptance
Lola Young’s “Messy” highlights the universal struggle of self-acceptance, presenting a poignant exploration of what it means to embrace imperfection. The song captures the tension between societal expectations and personal authenticity, emphasizing the exhausting cycle of trying to meet others’ standards while staying true to oneself.
Through sharp, candid lyrics, Young conveys the emotional weight of navigating these conflicting demands, resonating with listeners who have faced similar battles.
Additionally, “Messy” dives into the complexities of relational conflict, particularly the frustration that arises from double standards and unbalanced expectations.
By blending these personal struggles with broader themes of self-acceptance, the song becomes a powerful reflection on finding balance in life while learning to embrace “messiness” as a strength rather than a flaw.
Similar Songs to “Messy”
If you connect with the raw vulnerability of “Messy,” here are three songs with similar themes of self-exploration and relational tension:
1. “Liability” by Lorde
“Liability” explores feelings of self-doubt and the struggle to feel accepted, similar to the themes in “Messy.” With its stripped-back arrangement and raw lyricism, the song captures the emotional weight of being labeled “too much” for someone else.
2. “Human” by Christina Perri
In “Human,” Perri expresses the vulnerability of trying to meet impossible expectations, much like the frustrations voiced in “Messy.” The song’s powerful chorus conveys the fragility and strength inherent in embracing one’s humanity.
3. “She Used to Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles
“This ballad “She Used to Be Mine” delves into themes of self-reflection and lost identity, paralleling the emotional depth of “Messy.” Bareilles’s poignant lyrics about imperfection and personal growth make it a perfect companion piece to Lola Young’s anthem.
Related: “She Used to Be Mine” Song Meaning
Conclusion: Embracing Imperfection
“Messy” is more than just a simple pop song—it’s a lyrical journey into the chaos of identity, relationships, and self-acceptance.
Lola Young’s unfiltered honesty and emotive delivery make “Messy” a soul-pop standout that resonates with anyone striving to embrace their imperfections.
You can listen to “Messy” on Spotify and Amazon.
Be sure to check out more of our Song Meanings articles!