“She Used to Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles is a heartfelt song from her 2015 album What’s Inside: Songs from Waitress. The track is featured in the Broadway musical Waitress, which Bareilles also composed the music for. The song’s meaning dives into themes of self-loss, regret, and a longing to find strength again.
This article dives into the meaning behind the lyrics of ‘She Used to Be Mine’ and explores the emotional journey it captures.
“She Used to Be Mine” Lyrics Meaning: Line by Line
Verse 1: Feeling Lost
It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
Here, the character is admitting that it’s difficult to face the fact that she doesn’t recognize herself anymore. She has lost her sense of identity, which leaves her confused about who she’s become.
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
She reflects on how the roles she plays have consumed her.
The “shoes” and “apron” represent the daily grind, and the “patrons” refer to people she serves and interacts with.
She feels drained, as if she has given more than she received in return.
Verse 2: Change and Loss
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used to be
She acknowledges how much she’s changed, but she struggles to accept that she is no longer the person she once was.
Although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl
Even though she wasn’t someone who craved the spotlight, she still remembers a time when she was more confident, more herself. The lines suggest a loss of that previous self—someone simpler and more authentic.
Chorus: The Struggle of Imperfection
She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
This part of the chorus highlights the struggle of being a complex person. She’s trying, but the imperfection is evident.
The fact that she “lies” suggests she may be hiding her true feelings or the reality of her situation.
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
This shows how she is not only self-critical but feels like she has to carry the weight of everything on her own. Her brokenness isn’t just physical or emotional; it’s also a sense of guilt or shame that prevents her from seeking help.
She created a harsh self-image, reflecting emotional scars and the struggle to break free.
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
The woman is a mess, emotionally or mentally, but she still holds onto kindness. Her loneliness reveals a deeper, emotional isolation, showing how she struggles on her own.
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine
These lines paint a picture of a woman with many different traits, emotions, and experiences—some good, some painful—all mixed together.
The “beautiful pie” represents all the “ingredients” that make up who she is, showing that despite the messiness, there’s beauty in her complexity.
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Verse 3: The Unexpected Changes
And it’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a backdoor
She reflects on how life deviated from her expectations. She didn’t ask for these changes, but they came anyway, disrupting her sense of self.
And carves out a person
Who makes you believe it’s all true
Life shaped her into someone she doesn’t recognize, but she convinces herself this is who she’s meant to be now.
And now I’ve got you
This could be referring to someone else—perhaps a relationship or a new responsibility—that has further complicated her life. It adds to her confusion about her own identity.
Verse 4: Wanting a Do-Over
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
She realizes that what she thinks she wants isn’t what she needs. She’s admitting, perhaps with regret, that she would give everything up for a chance to return to who she used to be.
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
She wishes to rewrite her story and return to the girl she once was—the person full of hope, untainted by the struggles that have shaped her life.
Bridge: Regaining Strength
Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt
She recalls a time when she boldly took risks, even if it meant getting hurt. Being reckless was a part of her living freely, embracing life fully despite the consequences.
But who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised
The pain and difficulties she’s faced have taught her how to cope and become stronger. Each setback pushed her to toughen up, building resilience over time.
And gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
In this part, she remembers being trapped in a relationship where she was used by someone who couldn’t provide the love or support she needed. She feels stuck in that situation, unable to move forward and break free.
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Here, “the life inside her” refers to the character’s pregnancy, representing a significant change and a new responsibility that causes fear.
The fear isn’t just about her future but also about the potential transformation she’s facing. It adds complexity because she’s afraid of what she could become, feeling fearful of the life growing inside her, which feels both like a blessing and a challenge.
Growing stronger each day
‘Til it finally reminds her to fight just a little
As time goes on, both she and the baby are growing stronger.
On one hand, she’s starting to feel more empowered and capable, despite the challenges she’s facing. On the other hand, the growing life inside her serves as a constant reminder to fight for herself and for what’s ahead.
It’s the start of her reclaiming strength and, in a sense, starting to fight for the life she’s creating and the person she wants to become.
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine
She starts to reclaim the fire in her eyes—the passion, confidence, and vitality she once had. Though she lost it, she remains determined to find it again and restore the spark that once defined her.
“She Used to Be Mine” Song Meaning: A Journey of Self-Loss and Recovery
“She Used to Be Mine” is about losing your sense of self and the struggle to reclaim it. The character in the song grapples with feeling swallowed by life’s demands and losing touch with the person she once was. Whether it’s through work, relationships, or other pressures, the person she used to be feels like a distant memory.
However, the song also offers hope. By the end, there’s a hint of strength and resilience. Even though the woman has changed, there’s still a part of her that’s willing to fight and recover the fire that once burned brightly inside her. It’s a powerful message about rediscovering yourself after difficult times.
Songs Like “She Used to Be Mine”
If you loved “She Used to Be Mine,” here are a few more songs with similar emotional depth:
1. “Gravity” by Sara Bareilles
“Gravity” is another song from Sara Bareilles that reflects on the weight of emotional struggles. It describes being stuck in difficult situations while still holding on to the hope of breaking free.
2. “The Story” by Brandi Carlile
In “The Story,” the singer shares a raw, vulnerable perspective on how life shapes and changes people, much like in “She Used to Be Mine.” The song captures the beauty and pain of personal experiences.
3. “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten
“Fight Song” is an empowering anthem about reclaiming strength after feeling defeated. Much like “She Used to Be Mine,” it highlights personal struggle, resilience, and finding the courage to move forward despite life’s challenges.
4. “Skyscraper” by Demi Lovato
“Skyscraper” expresses overcoming emotional destruction and rising above it. The song, similar to “She Used to Be Mine,” portrays vulnerability but also the strength to heal and rebuild from painful experiences.
Related: Songs About Eating Disorders
Conclusion: The Journey of Reclaiming Yourself
“She Used to Be Mine” captures the painful journey of losing oneself and longing for the person you used to be. It reflects how life’s challenges can strip away your identity, but also shows the possibility of regaining strength and fighting for the fire that still burns inside.
The song resonates with anyone who has felt lost, yet still clings to the hope that they can find their way back to themselves.
You can listen to “She Used to Be Mine” on Spotify and Amazon.
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